|I've been thinking...
||[Dec. 12th, 2005|06:34 pm]
Since Michael left the house has been very quiet. For the last three days I've been working on getting his Christmas present package together and that has taken a lot of my energy, but teh alone time has been rather thought provoking. |
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but there are a LOT of people that I don't have the time or inclination to deal with. I'm a pretty busy girl, with a decent amount of responsibility and a pretty hefty schedule of obligations. Granted, they will be a little less scattered next semester, but generally will take about the same amount of time and dedication. Now, as this busy girl with a pretty full plan for her future, I have little time for others.
Family is always a crucial one. Sunday phone calls to the grandparents, chatting with my sister, random phone calls to the rest of the family and vacation time spent in RI celebrating memorable moments are all high on my list of priorities. Family is family, and you can't choose em, and they're always there, for better or worse. So it takes time and maintenance to withstand distance and difference in opinions AND stay tight knit.
So, now, there's school, work, and family. That doesn't leave much time for anything else. But I need to fit at least one or two more things in the very short weeks...
My friends. I don't have many, and I don't make them easily. In two years at Catholic, living on campus and showing up in DC a complete stranger, I made a few friends. I now talk to a grand total of 3, and only a couple times a year. I lived in Greensboro for three years and I talk to 1, MAYBE two of the people I knew there. And even that is on a very semi-regularly basis. Mostly, I keep up via livejournals. In Greenville, I have many aquaintances. I probably know more people in this town than I have in any other town I've ever lived in. But again, only 1 or 2 will stick around after I've moved again.
I'm getting ready to move in May, to RI then finally to Boston where I plan to settle down for a good long while, establish a good line of credit, gain career experience, get my grad degrees, etc. That's 5 months left in this town. Now, there are people here that I particularly enjoy and make a serious effort to make time for. On the other hand, there is a handful of people that I would LIKE to devote more time to, but don't see the point.
Is it close-minded to say that these people should be kept at a distance since I'm moving in such a short time? There will be the same amount of free time next semester as there was this semester, so I won't have more time to devote to cultivating said friendships. Granted, some are fantastic or interesting people, but is it worth it?
I realize that I need support and frienships and other people to interact with and stay sane over these stressful months, and I could probably be of use to them as well. But most of the time, for me, forging friendships is SO very difficult. It's not that I'm stuck up or not friendly about things, it's just that I have little patience for the whole "getting to know you" thing. I've known and been disappointed with a lot of people.
Is it bad to live by the motto "the less I invest, the less I get hurt?"
Is that jaded or just...reasonable?